I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
