We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
FUCK WHALES
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
