took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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