Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
