I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I pour the whiskey from now on
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