so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
