I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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