I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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