you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
