Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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