it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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