What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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