yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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