apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
