Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
