...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
