Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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