I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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