u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize