he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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