So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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