we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
