Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
