if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize