I need help removing her.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
