I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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