i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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