a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
