It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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