we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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