o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
