Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
