I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The power of my boobs compel you
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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