Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
