We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
