Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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