Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
