he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
