Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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