Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's never too late to be topless.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
