Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
