The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize