my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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