I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
