Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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