just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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