Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
