this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
