My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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