I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
