We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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