ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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