My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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