the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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