we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
