I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
