I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize