we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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