dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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