We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
