I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
