What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
