ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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