She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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