she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
vagina is talking i cant
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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