Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
