I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
