Is it normal to miss your booty call?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
