Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
