Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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