he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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