He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize