I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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