i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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