I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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