Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
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well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed