Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him