Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.

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  (310): I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless. http://tfl.nu/yhaf
  Replies (7) Good night (800) Bad night (2400)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

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  (501): thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control. http://tfl.nu/7f4i
  Replies (70) Good night (1132) Bad night (2853)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies

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  (208): I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies http://tfl.nu/u66b
  Replies (25) Good night (8039) Bad night (676)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.

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  (647): Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page. http://tfl.nu/te1t
  Replies (40) Good night (3507) Bad night (1062)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.

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  (330): Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley. http://tfl.nu/14i4
  Replies (16) Good night (1195) Bad night (5210)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.

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  (205): Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high. http://tfl.nu/wyb4
  Replies (15) Good night (5069) Bad night (986)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.

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  (480): Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like. http://tfl.nu/rdz5
  Replies (15) Good night (835) Bad night (4239)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.

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  (608): She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party. http://tfl.nu/e28o
  Replies (7) Good night (2594) Bad night (950)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.

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  (216): another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night. http://tfl.nu/i20t
  Replies (2) Good night (1986) Bad night (904)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.

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  (734): you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you. http://tfl.nu/57kx
  Replies (7) Good night (2046) Bad night (1128)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.

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  (802): It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic. http://tfl.nu/v71x
  Replies (7) Good night (2458) Bad night (799)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  how did you know?

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  (330): hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something? (614): is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'? (330): how did you know? http://tfl.nu/tzki
  Replies (5) Good night (2472) Bad night (587)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.

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  (412): Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab. http://tfl.nu/yqci
  Replies (5) Good night (1308) Bad night (657)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with

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  (618): Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with http://tfl.nu/wwss
  Replies (4) Good night (1249) Bad night (376)
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  (714): View more from California

  He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.

  (1-714): View more from California

  That is my stoner wet dream!

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  (714): He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream. (1-714): That is my stoner wet dream! http://tfl.nu/uw2k
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (258)

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