is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...